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Take a Meta-Moment

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Emotions can hinder us or help us. They hinder us when they control us. One sideways glance can cause us to lose our cool with a teenager. One roll of the eyes can break our child’s trust. One angry outburst can undo a day of patience and control with toddler. Whether you are on the receiving or delivering end, uncontrolled emotions can derail the best of intentions.

On the other hand, when we are able to regulate our emotions using effective strategies, they can help us be more effective in everything we do; really enjoy being with our loved ones; and respond better to children’s ups and downs. Effective emotional regulation is essential for success in all areas of life, but even more so to succeed in the hurly-burly of raising kids. Successful emotional regulation requires a toolbox of strategies and techniques that we can draw on when needed.

The term Meta-Moment, coined by the team at the Yale Centre for Emotional Intelligence, describes a process designed to help manage the space between an emotional trigger and a response; between the time it takes to experience an event and the time it takes to respond. A Meta-Moment is always there, but it’s not always used. Consider the child who is anxious about an upcoming talk at school and shuts down; the parent who is frustrated by her son’s slow reading progress and rolls her eyes; and the dad who feels pressured by his daughter’s pestering and yells out in anger. At first blush, there seems no space between the trigger (the talk, the reading, the pestering) and the response (shutting down, eye rolling, yelling), but there is. The space needs to be recognised or created, then managed effectively. Managing that space is the central to your well-being, as well as your personal and professional growth.

A Meta-Moment is always there, but it’s not always used. Consider the child who is anxious about an upcoming talk at school and shuts down; the parent who is frustrated by her son’s slow reading progress and rolls her eyes; and the dad who feels pressured by his daughter’s pestering and yells out in anger. At first blush, there seems no space between the trigger (the talk, the reading, the pestering) and the response (shutting down, eye rolling, yelling), but there is. The space needs to be recognised or created, then managed effectively. Managing that space is the central to your well-being, as well as your personal and professional growth.

The significance of using Meta-Moments and their impact on parents and children is profound. The Meta-Moment is a research based 6-step process for prolonging and managing the space between a trigger and response helps people respond to their emotions with their ideal self in mind and gain mastery over their own lives.

Register for the Live (and parent) Well with the Mood Meter online course which starts on 13th November at Parentingideas Club.

 


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