Many parents of Only children frequently feel that they have to fix every problem or difficulty their child has.
Interestingly, when parents speak to me after a seminar it’s easy to pick those with one child.
They tend to focus on the minute details of their child’s life or worry about behaviours that parents of three or more children might not have even noticed.
Also Only children can more easily pass on their problems to parents than children in large families, who sometimes struggle to be heard.
If you want your child to be resourceful then you need to give them a chance to solve their own problems and challenges.
That means resisting the temptation of jumping in and doing little things for them such as dressing toddlers even though they are becoming capable of doing o themselves; and solving a teenage relationship problem with teachers by getting on the phone and sorting the problem yourself.
The competencies Only children learn by solving their own problems also builds their confidence and self-esteem.
Coach your child to success
It’s better to coach an Only child in the skills they need, then stand back to give them the chance to resolve challenges and problems themselves.
It helps to work out who owns a problem.
If it is your Only child, then skill them up and support them to try solving the problem themselves.
Ask yourself, “Is my child capable of solving this problem himself?” If so, give him the chance to resolve it himself. Even if he fails, it will be a fabulous learning experience for your child.
For more in-depth ideas and assistance for raising only children join Parentingideas Club, the home of parenting education.
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