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De escalating problems

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I listened to an interview with Steve Biddulph, author of Raising Girls (which is a fine book by the way) in the radio recently, and left it really worried about girls. More worried than when I started listening.

Body image issues, low self-esteem, even self-harm was mentioned during the interview. The message was: Wake up Australia, our girls are struggling!

Next day I read an article that stated that only 4% of women in the 25-34 age group live with their parents compared to 22% of men the same age.

This age group are more likely to purchase their own property than their male counterparts.

I began to think how young women aren't doing so badly, after all. In fact, I looked at the young women I know and I'm amazed at how well they are doing collectively. I felt reassured. Australia is not such a bad place to bring up girls and the present holds many advantages for girls including plenty of educational and travel opportunities.

It makes sense for experts to amplify the negative, and create drama. This tension makes us worry, feel guilty about letting them down and also take action.

But what if we did the opposite? What if we de escalate the problem, remove the drama and take away the guilt about raising girls?

What if we took a big breathe and looked for connection with girls rather than looked to fixing the problem? What if we slowed things down a little and took some time to form relationships with girls? What if we saw beyond the problem with girls? What if there was no problem, only the one that has been created through the drama?

Sometimes it's helps to think long-term even though our vision is fixed on the present. That way we remove the drama, simplify the story and make parenting less complex and worrisome.

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