Posted by:

Michael Grose

It helps to have multiple personalities as a parent.

There are times when you need to be the firm parent; the assertive parent; the nurturant parent; and the encouraging parent just to name a few.

It can be hard to have all these people wrapped in one neat package.

That's why you need to channel other people when you talk to kids.

If that sounds a little spooky then don't worry. It's simple and you do it all the time.

If, for example, you are not a natural encourager and you'd like to be more affirming of your kids then think back to someone in your life who is a poster person for encouragement. It maybe a former teacher, relative or a very good friend. Let them be your model for encouragement.

Get a good picture of them in your mind. Recall some of the things they said, including their tone of voice and facial expressions when they encouraged. It's not so hard!

When you want to be the encouraging parent begin to imagine how your model would encourage. What would they do and say? Talk as if your model is talking.

You'll find yourself saying things you wouldn't normally say to your kids. You'll start to encourage your kids just as your model encouraged you.

You can do the same when you want to be assertive, resilient or even wise. Choose a model that fits the bill and imagaine how they would respond to different situations.

That's what's channelling is about. We often channel our own parents, and that my friend, is spooky!

But we can also channel the different people that our kids need us to be.......... and that is how we get better as a mum or dad.

For more great ideas about raising kids and being a Thriving parent visit www.parentingideas.com.au 

Tags:

channelling, encouragement, models, parenting, role