When people find out that I wrote "Why first borns rule the world and last borns want to change it", they usually ask how they should raise kids in each position.
Interestingly, it’s usually first borns who ask this question! They just love to do things right!
Parents who are often last born are more likely to take things as they come. After all, they are survivors and they often expect that their kids will do the same.
Anyway, here is one birth order tip for each position that may help you focus on what is important when raising your kids:
First borns and only children tip: Release the pressure on first borns and only children.
They need to lighten up so don’t take things so seriously. Eldest kids can put a great deal of pressure on themselves so you don’t have to keep the bar raised at a super high level. Also if there is more than one child in the family keep some jobs for others and don’t expect first borns to do them all.
Second/middle child tip: Help seconds feel special, particularly if they follow a superstar.
Finding their own patch of turf where they can shine is perhaps the main task for middles and seconds. Also make sure you give them some one-on-one time as middles generally miss these opportunities with their parents if left to chance.
Youngest child tip: Save some responsibilities for the youngest born and make sure that they make their own decisions and speak for themselves.
They are adept at putting others in their service so we can easily believe that they are helpless. Don’t be fooled. They are very capable and benefit from having some pressure put on them (just the opposite to first borns).
Oh, and don’t forget to finish their photo album as we get ‘parented out’ by the time the youngest comes along!
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