While researching for my coming Raising Happy Siblings seminars I've come across some fascinating facts. Here are seven that you'd may find interesting too:
Finding 1: Possessions are the biggest cause of conflict among siblings. Very young children have difficulty assuming control over their world, and property is something they can have authority over.
Finding 2: Siblings will resolve problems quicker when their parents aren’t involved. Siblings may be programmed to fight, but they also have an impressive set of peacemaking skills. One study showed that when left alone and instructed to resolve an issue (“Stop fighting!”) pairs of siblings were most likely to use compromise, than any other conflict resolution method.
Finding 3: Children know the difference between step-siblings and biological siblings at the age of three. Very young children are pre-disposed to tell the difference between step and biological siblings from a very early age. It’s inbuilt as your kin has always meant safety and security.
Finding 4: After six years step siblings are as close as biological siblings. While kids are predisposed to favour their biological siblings, it seems after the six year mark relationships between step-siblings are as close and enduring as those between biological siblings.
Finding 5: First borns and youngest are most likely to keep the family together when parents pass on. Eldests are typically the kin-keepers, whether male or female. Youngest children are the next most likely as they have a greater sense of family history than other siblings.
Finding 6: Parents don’t treat children equally. Fathers are more likely to favour the youngest girl, while mothers are most likely to give preferential treatment to the eldest boy. Difference always gets more attention in family, so children with special needs rightfully get special attention and treatment.
Finding 7: Siblings teach us how to fight and survive. The transference of the skills learned at home to the schoolyard and even to later adult relationships is impressive. If you have a feisty sibling who likes an argument then you learn a lot about how to deal with situations like that later in life. If you have a younger sibling who is afraid of the dark, then you develop nurturing skills that you may not otherwise learn.
My Raising Happy Siblings seminar tour should be fascinating indeed.
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