5 reasons NOT to smack & 10 ways to discipline without smacking
- Posted by:
- Michael Grose
A recent survey shows 85% of parents admitted smacking their kids. Hmm! I suspect many people smack but don’t feel great about it.
Here are five reasons NOT to smack:
1. You can’t be half pregnant.
Some people give just a little smack or a tap. Nope! This one is black and white. You either smack or you don’t. Make the decision!
2. Kids live what they learn.
You smack and you teach them when you are old enough you can hit too!
3. Schools don’t use corporal punishment anymore.
Your discipline needs to fit with the times in which we live. We don’t want teachers to smack/hit/beat our kids so let’s leave smacking where it belongs –in the past.
4. It shows lack of skill.
Smacking kids when they are naughty is easy; being tough in different ways is hard. Wish to be a better parent rather than wish for things to be easier.
5. It doesn’t work. It
may stop a behaviour temporarily but it doesn’t change much over the long term.
I can think of a few more but that will do. So what to use instead? Well, I’ve got books
devoted to discipline without smacking, and I’ve programs and DVD’s devoted to discipline with tears, fears and put-downs. But here are some quick thoughts............
Feel like smacking?
1. Walk away if you can.
2. If you can’t, put your child in his or her bedroom
or somewhere safe until you and they have calmed down.
3. Take stuff away from kids when naughty including the right of use, and right to go to a place and the right to be around a person for a short time. Link the consequence to the behaviour so they learn.
4. Try, try and try to prevent misbehaviour
by looking ahead and pre-empting some of your kids’ poor behaviour. Sometimes adjusting routines can prevent poor behaviour.
5. Tell kids exactly how they should behave and then rehearse it a few times.
6. Remove the pay-off for continuous, repetitive poor behaviour that involves you and do something different. Try not arguing with argumentative kids.
7. Focus on the behaviours you like your kids doing while ignoring some of the poor stuff. BIG TIP: What you focus on expands so set your antennae for kids good behaviours and that’s what you’ll see.
8. Move close to your kids when you want them to hear you rather than shouting instructions at 10 paces.
9. Help kids make up when they muck up. They mess up lots so give them a chance to fix thinsg up with siblings, friends and family. That way they'll learn to take more responsibility.
10. Tell them when they behave well and how their good behaviour impacts on you - it please you! Parent recognition is a high driver for most kids.
There are heaps of ways to teach kids to behave well and none of them involve smacking!
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