Who owns the problem?
- Posted by:
- Michael Grose
Kids are adept at making their problems, their parents’ problems as well.
They like to share them with their parents.
Nothing wrong with that to a point, as a problem shared is a problem halved. In some cases, they don’t even share the problem; they put some issues solely on parents’ laps to sort out.
The problem ownership principle applies to many situations including eating, dressing and relationships.
A child who has a relationship breakdown with his or her sibling needs to do their best to mend fences, rather than run to their parents to sort out their problems.
Similarly, when a parent has difficulty with a child, he or she needs to sort it out with the other parents playing the role of a neutral bystander.
The problem-ownership principle promotes personal responsibility, which is the cornerstone of character and resilience promotion.
It's parents' jobs to make it easy for kids to solve their problems, not to take the responsibility away.
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