Beware of the 'Velcro' effect
- Posted by:
- Michael Grose
Parenting is all about teaching.
It always has been and always will be.
Whether it’s a mother teaching kids to be self-sufficient or a father passing on some wisdom or a little lesson through story effective parenting is inextricably tied up with teaching.
Lack of parental time is the enemy of effective teaching. When life gets busy for kids and parents, teaching skills of independence and the skills of coping often goes down.
It’s the ‘velcro’ effect. That is, it takes time to teach a young child to tie their shoelaces. It takes time to explain and model. It also takes time for a child to practise the skills taught until he can do it himself.
Sometimes it’s easier to do it yourself, or just buy them shoes with Velcro so they never learn how to do up their own shoelaces.
The 'Velcro' effect can spread to other areas of life where it’s easier for parents to do things for kids, or simply solve their problems. It’s expedient, but not effective in promoting a sense of independence in kids.
Thriving parents recognise that life is full of teachable moments. They are on the lookout for these small moments, seeing problems that often kids present as valuable learning moments for children.
So be on the lookout always for teachable moments that kids will present you. Sometimes, they'll be in the form of a problem.
Other times it maybe a poor behaviour that needs changing.
These small challenges sometimes present us with our best teaching opportunities.
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