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Dear Dad

29 July
Posted by:
Michael Grose

The following piece was sent to me by friend, colleague and dad Hugh Guyton.

It put a smile on my dial. I hope it does for you........

A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was
nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped
up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and, with trembling
hands, read the letter...

"Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with
my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I've
been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you
would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight
Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and
has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having
many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt
anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other
people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the
meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can
get better. She sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm
sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.


Your son, Joshua

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school
report that's on the kitchen table. Call me when it is safe for me to come

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